Life

undersanding

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, with every guy I turn down.

When Kayla and I hung out, her friend was there too and he took an interest in me and we kind of just “clicked” but I was just being me, social, nice and friendly… he later told her that he was interested in me and she gave him the 411 on me and manny. So in everyone’s eyes, I’m kind of off limits but try again in a month when shit hits the fan 🤷🏻‍♀️

Her words.

I mean… I’ve given manny several chances, this relationship, several when others haven’t had their first.

Thats what messes with me, I get that I shouldn’t have these thoughts but y’all don’t get it, or maybe y’all do, I’ve been SO hurt in this relationship… and I know I keep saying that but maybe the guys who are interested in me, have my best interest at heart?

Tacos and Tequila guy and Pharmacy guy.

I’m not like this.

In my four year relationship, I’d automatically turn anyone down and wouldn’t even think about it because he treated me AND still treats me so wonderful. Do you know how much trust you have to have in someone to go to a different college than you for two years? A lot. But I never once doubted him and yeah he cheated but that was when he was here and our relationship was basically over. No hard feelings and everything is great with us still. He wronged me once and he apologized and we both moved on.

 

I miss that in a relationship, I miss the security and the feeling that you’re the only one. I miss the comfort and pure love that I felt knowing that what I had, was genuine. I miss being with someone who genuinely loves me and cares about me. The thought of hurting me would just kill them. I miss being in a secure, honest, understanding relationship with a solid foundation. I miss it.

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