I had a breakdown in the shower yesterday and I don’t remember how it started or even doing it until manny was holding me but he wasn’t comforting and I lately haven’t been able to feel that, maybe it’s a phase but ever since we went to the beach, I just haven’t been able to.. try? He doesn’t bring comfort to me or my life anymore.
he made a valid point, I’ve stopped trying to be his girlfriend and while I do love and support him, and trust me, I love him a lot, I just keep thinking that I’ve stopped. I’m fully aware of what I’m doing and I don’t know if it’s a phase but I don’t know. I don’t know if things will get better. I just know that crying full on because of the relationship isn’t a good thing. It’s toxic. I hate how I get treated.
maybe he feels the same way. Maybe that’s why he’s also pushing me away.